Her Name is Stevie
by Butterfly Kitty
Summary: Songfic to "Her Name is Alice." Yes, it's finally here. If you're on JaylaHeart's forum, you know what this is, if you aren't, join it. Or, just post, seeing as you don't need to join. Anyway, it's an abuse story about Stevie and Zander. Enjoy. Or not.


_**"If I had a world of my own, everything will be nonsense"**_

_**"Nothing will be what it is, because everything will be what it isn't"**_

You creep down the hall, making not the slightest noise when your bony feet tap lightly against the wood. You quickly steal a glance behind yourself before slipping inside the dark room in front of you.

**I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time**

**And every creature lends themselves to change your state of mind**

**And the girl that chased the rabbit drank the wine and took the pill**

**Has locked herself in limbo to see how it truly feels**

You curl up on the raggedy bed near the wall, shielding yourself from the world. Your brother (the three others are in college, boarding school, and jail) looks worriedly at you and you bury yourself under the covers to block out his gaze.

Your white Persian cat Lulu _"mrrowww"s_ loudly, crawling under the blanket with you, nosing your arm. Outside you hear birds chirping loudly, and are vaguely aware of how bright it is outside, but everything you suffer brings you down and turns this place into a dark, dark world.

You think you're worthless and unlovable, you know you're hungry. Lulu's hungry too. The one brother you have with you is able to escape the darkness, the lucky 7-year-old. His small hands grab the blanket and pull it up. You flinch as the cold air hits your bare, bruised shoulders, only a thin tank top separates your body from the icy cold atmosphere (the heating bill was left unpaid a long time ago.)

"Why do you do this to yourself Stevie?" he asks. You moan, curling up in a tighter ball and not meeting his gaze.

"Ty, don't bother me," you reply wearily, flipping over. Lulu gives an unsatisfied hiss, but you ignore the fussy cat, staring at your wall until you fall asleep.

**To stand outside your virtue**

**No one can ever hurt you**

**Or so they say**

You wake up the next day to your brother shaking your body over and over. You groggily get up and change to a long sleeve shirt and jeans, giving your dull curly hair and gleaming teeth a quick brush-through. Shoving several text books and a large, three-ringed binder into your bag, you mutter a "bye" to your little brother, barely acknowledging your drunked-up dad passed out on the couch, surrounded by bottle after bottle of half-drank beer and vodka.

"What a waste," you murmur to yourself, quickly slipping out of the run-down house into the bright, blinding light. You walk to school (you can't afford a bus), climbing a tree to hide and catch more sleep before you need to be at class.

You're unbreakable, untouchable, and unlovable. Your arms, legs, and torso have several bruises from your dad's drunken rage (he was fired for the millionth time yesterday), and your chest and head feel heavy, you barely feel alive but you keep living on.

**Her name is Alice (Alice)**

**She crawls into the window**

**Shaped in shadows**

**Alice (Alice)**

**And even though she is dreaming, she knows**

After a long day at school, you walk back home alone (Zander offered to walk you, but you can't risk exposing your home life, no matter how cute he is). You're just a lone shadow walking down the street, passing several other run-down, beat up houses like your own. You finally do make it home, finding the doors to be locked. You sigh, exasperated, and search for a key or a bobby pin.

Nothing. You find absolutely nothing.

Your head goes back and you feel like screaming "why?" to the skies, but you don't. Instead, you sneak around the back of the house, trying to avoid the many shards of glass sticking out of the dirt, barely visible in the tall grass of the yard. Dark clouds roll above you, and you shove open a random window from outside, hoisting yourself up and inside.

The room you fall in happens to be yours.

It's shadowed and dark, just like your thoughts, personality, and life. You crawl onto your mattress, Lulu flicking her tail impatiently as your little brother naps on his bed. You pull out your homework, doing it quickly. You know this stuff and it's not like the teachers pay much attention to you anyway.

**Sometimes the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain**

**And every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain**

**And through the looking glass we see she's painfully returned**

**But now off with her head I fear is everyone's concern**

You shove all your textbooks off the bed, waking up your brother and surely your dad. You freeze, your eyes glued to the door. Sure enough, the sound of a drunken man trying to figure out how a doorknob works can be heard, and you bury yourself in blanket, terrified at what could and will happen.

The door bursts open. Your little brother screams, for he is only 7 and he doesn't know of your dad's rage yet. You close your eyes, waiting for the blows. And sure enough, they come, one by one, each one hurting worse than before. You hear your brother screaming, even though he is immune to the abuse, and pay him little attention as you feel the familiar sensation of crimson trickling down your back and sticking to your shirt.

Your dad curses you out, yelling insults at you until you feel you can bear no more. Curiosity strikes you and unconsciously you ask your dad why you are the target of his abuse.

And then he tells you that you're worthless, and horrible, and disobedient. It kills you inside, leaving a heavy, sinking pain in your chest like a rock sinking to the bottom of a pond. You look down; shielding yourself from your dad's disappointed gaze and his harsh blows. But what he says next frightens you even more.

**You see there's no real ending**

**It's only the beginning**

**Come out and play**

"Come on _little_ girl," he sneers. "Come out of those blankets and play with me." This makes your heart hammer in your chest. He holds parties almost every night, and you've seen what he does to teenage girls. You've seen the piles of clothes in the corners of almost each room (why your room has a lock.) You shudder at the memory, and then realize that your little brother is still in the room.

"Ty!" you scream. "Run!"

The little boy follows your order and leaves quickly just as your dad rips off your shirt. You scream, but your cries are fruitless as your dad starts tracing his fingers down your bare stomach. You flinch, squeezing your eyes close and trying to ignore the funny feeling you were getting.

A few hours later you finally lose your stomach and out spills the bagel you had that morning. You moan and stand up wobbly, finding your clothes in a heap next to your bed. You pull them on gingerly, tears rolling down your pale cheeks as you crawl back out the window. It's pouring rain outside and you shiver, deciding to walk to your friend's house.

**Her name is Alice (Alice)**

**She crawls into the window**

**Shapes in shadows**

**Alice (Alice)**

**And even though she is dreaming**

**She's a locked for meaning for you**

**This kingdom good riddance good freedom and innocence**

**Has brought this whole thing down**

**Her name is Alice (Alice)**

**She crawls into to the window**

**Shapes in shadows**

**Alice (Alice)**

**And even though she is dreaming**

**She's a locked for meaning**

You finally find yourself at his house, gently rapping on the door. After about a minute you see him in the window, and he opens the door.

Your eyes lock, hazel with brown. And suddenly, the sobs hack your body and you collapse into his arms. Zander holds you tight, rubbing circles on your scrawny back as you cry your eyes out. You sob for a full ten minutes in the pouring rain before you run out of tears and Zander leads you upstairs to his room.

**Red knights, white knights**

**Marching into the fight**

**Drink me, shrink me**

**Fill me to sink me**

**Red knights, white knights**

**Marching into the fight**

**Drink me, shrink me**

**Fill me to sink me**

**She's a locked for meaning for you**

He can tell you're upset, and he comforts you before asking you what was wrong. You don't answer for a long time, debating whether or not to answer. You finally realize that you're sick of your suckish life, and you tell him what had been happening. He listened intently, not interrupting you once. You realize that maybe you could get a different outcome of life, and soon he lands your dad in court, and then jail. And you have nowhere to go, so Zander's parents let you stay with them.

You're very grateful, but you then remember that you left Ty in the madhouse. They let you go bring him over, and Zander offers to go with you.

At the very sight of your house you flinch, and Zander holds your hand. You try the doorknob, finding it locked, as usual, then you decide to crawl through the window as you usually do. You walk through your yard, warning Zander of the many shards of glass sticking out of the ground.

Ty squeezes through the window effortlessly, and you are back at Zander's house quickly.

And you don't want to admit it, but you're actually enjoying life after that.

Zander loves you.

Law doesn't consider you and him siblings, or even stepsiblings.

So you're in a relationship with him.

And he's kissing you on the cheek as you review your life, the sand blowing around you and the waves crashing in the background.

_**"In contrary was what it is it wouldn't be"**_

_**"And what it wouldn't be it would"**_

_**"You see?"**_


End file.
